Totally OOC
by Requiem for the Dream
Summary: What happens when an authoress gets bored and decides to spam her forum? This. Probably the stupidest fanfiction you will ever read.
1. Chapter 1

**IMPORTANT: I am against random humor of any kind. I HATE it when characters talk about their obsession with cheese, fudge, or fruitcakes, so I do not enjoy random humor parodies, okay? I made this on my forum as spam and decided to post it. XD It's weird, okay?**

Once upon a time, a wolf named Ammy was walking down an old dirt path.

A bouncing green Poncle was...bouncing...on top her head happily.

His name was Issun.

He also loved crackers and long walks on a beach.

Ammy hated him.

But Issun didn't care.

He always rode around on top of her, bouncing and giggling like a prepubescent monkey.

He also typed away on a laptop as he and Ammy explored the land of Nippon.

It was then he heard of the legendary site called 'fanfiction dot net.'

He clicked on it.

But there was a problem.

A huge problem.

A problem so huge that it couldn't be typed out.

He didn't have a wireless connection.

He cursed out every god: Gekigami, Nuregami…all of them.

He angrily crossed his arms and muttered a long string of words. "Ammy, we need a wireless connection!"

Ammy rolled her eyes.

"To America!" Issun boldly declared. America? Of course they would have internet!

Ammy was in it for teh lulz.

She agreed, but it was ONLY FOR TEH LULZ. NOTHING ELSE, DAMNIT.

So they quickly diverged off the path and found themselves standing in a LARGE. FRICKIN'. MEADOW.

"Let us frolic!" Issun said happily and hopped off Ammy's head.

Ammy stared flatly at Issun. The hell?

Issun was prancing through a field of tulips.

It was scary.

"La-di-da-di-da!" he chanted as he spun in circles, picking flowers and making a hat out of them.

"Why, Ammy dear, will you please come help Issy-Issy get some flowers?"

"We have to get to America, damnit! Get back between my ears and let's go!" Ammy snarled, actually talking for once.

"YOU TALK!?"

Issun fainted out of shock.

"Duh. Now don't try and be feelin' up on my ass, ya hear?"

Ammy was very sensitive about her looks, you see.

"O...kay..." Issun trailed off.

He pulled out his laptop again. "Now we go to America!" he declared loudly.

Issun pulled up MapQuest as quickly as he could.

Ammy wanted to snap his neck.

MapQuest _sucked._

"Let's wing it!" she howled and broke Issun's laptop.

Issun was devastated.

Now he couldn't look up porn.

He began to cry like a _bay-bay._

"Pussy," Ammy snorted.

Through his broken sobs, Issun choked out, "Megan Fox! Noooooo!"

"I'm hotter than Megan Fox," Ammy growled.

Issun thought differently.

Issun, with determination spread across his face, said, "Fine; let's wing it! I don't need MapQuest OR a laptop to get to America!"

Ammy would have liked to point out the fact that America was across the Pacific, or, depending which way you were going, Atlantic, ocean.

They were in Nippon.

It is usually called Japan, dipshit.

"We require one elephant!"

"An elephant?" Ammy loosely echoed.

Issun nodded.

"Why do we need an elephant?"

"KEEP IN MIND THAT I DESIGNED THIS RYHME TO EXPLAIN IN DUE TIME--"

Ammy snapped his neck.

And Issun was DEADZIES.

"Oh noes!" cried the fangirls, scooping up the lifeless body of their beloved Poncle.

**This is what I do to spam my forum. XD**

**I find it to be very stupid, but, at the same time, slightly amusing. XD If people want a chapter two, I can make one. This was just made to relieve my boredom.**

**-Requiem **


	2. Chapter 2

**Because you asked for it. XD **

The fangirls were devastated.

And sad.

But mostly devastated.

Issun was dead? It couldn't be! Clover would never let that happen!

...But Requiem would.

"A-Ammy..." he choked out. "I-I-I see...the light..."

"Go into the light, biotch!" she cheered, doing cartwheels around Issun's body.

"Okay," he said and died.

And there was much rejoicing.

Not really, though.

Ammy, to keep up her whole "I'm da saver of Japan/Nippon/the-place-that-bombed-Hawaii" look, broke down and cried.

A single tear fell on Issun.

"HEH LIVES!" rejoiced Mary Sue #1.

"WE MUST HUGGLEGLOMP HIM AND DRAW KAWAII PICTURES OF HIM!!!1!!1" screamed Mary Sue #2.

"KAWAII IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FETCH!" yelled Mary Sue #1.

For our convenience, and for Requiem's convenience, since she gets tired of leaning up to press the # key, we'll call her Crystal.

And her friend was named Destiny Serenity Iluvmewhataboutyou?.

"Yee-eah..." Ammy looked around warily. "Let's go."

And so she picked up Issun and ran off.

And she ran as far as she could.

And she soon arrived at Kamui.

And crashed into Oki. "Whew...I wonder if we're safe from the Sues..."

"Watch it!" Oki snarled.

And then he fainted, for Ammy's pelt sparkled in the sun with the intensity of a thousand suns.

Ammy hurriedly dragged him into his igloo and looked around for Crystal and the Chick With the Long Name.

They weren't in sight.

Lucky little bitch...

And so they went inside Oki's igloo and warmed up and waited for Oki to thaw out, for it was very cold outside.

Very cold.

Stupidly cold.

Very stupidly cold.

But that's beside the point.

Anyway.

Ammy waited by the fire. Thinking.

Issun hopped off her nose and stood by the fire.

Ammy grinned.

Evilly.

She grinned evilly in an evil way.

She quickly kicked him with her paw and pushed him into the fire.

And Issun was roasted and was DEADZIES.

Again.

And then Oki woke up...er...thawed out.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!?" Oki screamed, making a My Immortal reference.

**If you don't know what My Immortal is, you fail. XD**


	3. Chapter 3

**This has got to be the most stupid thing I have ever written. 0.o**

"Killing Issun..." Ammy muttered.

Oki stared.

"Isn't he your friend?"

He had a confused look across his face.

"Was."

"The fangirls will be devastated."

"Naturally."

And so they engaged themselves in a he-said she-said argument.

Ammy won.

Only because she's a chick.

Chicks always win.

Boo-yah.

"ZOMG!!!!!!!!!" screamed Crystal, abusing exclamation points. "WTFLOLOMGBBQ DID YOU KILL ISSUN-chan!?"

And as quick as lightning, they all dropped like flies and eventually succumbed to the horrible disease known as Fangirlism-itis.

And that's how this stupid-ass fic ended.


End file.
